<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Cacophony of Self by Wallwalker</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23838892">A Cacophony of Self</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallwalker/pseuds/Wallwalker'>Wallwalker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (FFVIIR)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Remembering Past Lives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:55:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>850</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23838892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallwalker/pseuds/Wallwalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The loudest voices were her own.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Minigame: Round 1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Cacophony of Self</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allekha/gifts">Allekha</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aerith heard so many voices. But the loudest were her own.</p><p>They were as loud as ever as the three of them crawled through the sewers. Sometimes they'd whisper warnings about beasts, or locations of hidden treasures. Sometimes they were right; sometimes they weren't, and they would murmur in confusion as she walked calmly through an empty tunnel where some of them had once met their ends.</p><p>She didn't know why she heard them; her mother had never told her anything about this before she'd died. They didn't have any answers for why they still lingered in the Lifestream, twisted by the shock of time and space. She only knew that they were her selves from other timelines where she had made a different decision, where she had done the wrong thing at the wrong time, and died for it. So many alternate selves, begging her not to make their mistake. </p><p>Everywhere she went, she heard them, offering their commentary. She would hear them, a cacophony in her mind, quiet thoughts about how each one had felt that day - fear, sadness, happiness. They had an opinion concerning everyone she met, whether she should befriend them or avoid them. Whether or not they would buy her flowers. Whether or not she could trust them. </p><p>They had never spoken so loudly, or with so many voices, as they had when she met Cloud. Some of them told her to be careful; she couldn't trust him, not when he couldn't even trust himself. Others spoke of him affectionately, wished they could have known him - the real him, the best version of him. But they agreed on one thing - that the Cloud that was there, the one that looked and felt so familiar, was a front for something... no, for someone else. </p><p>She had always done her best to listen, because the Planet had been everpresent in her life and her mother had taught her to trust it. But how was she supposed to live her life, when she was living in her own shadow? They disagreed on so many things; some shouted warnings when others whispered encouragement. So many times she'd given up, and she must have been good at it, considering how many other lives she'd apparently lived.  Sometimes she wanted to go to Shinra and surrender, let them do what they wanted, thinking it might be better than this. But that had happened to her before too, many times, and they screamed at her to reconsider.  It would be worse than death, they promised. </p><p>She was so tired. Constantly walking a tightrope between past lives and deaths... what about her? Who she was, what she wanted? Didn't she get a say in any of this? Was she going to end up like them, just a voice to guide another version of herself? And what was it all for?</p><p>"Aerith. Are you okay?"</p><p>She blinked, looking up. "Oh! Sorry, Tifa."  She made sure she was still smiling. She had to smile; the voices had quietly agreed when Don Corneo had spoken of Shinra's plans for Sector 7, but she couldn't let that on. Not to Cloud, and especially not to Tifa, who was already terrified for her home and covered in bruises from Corneo's beasts and exhausted from crawling through the sewers.</p><p>"Are you okay?" she repeated, tilting her head. She looked worried. "I know it's been a tough day. I wish we could rest."</p><p>She didn't mind smiling for Tifa, anyway. Even her other selves liked her; they stopped shouting warnings whenever Aerith looked at her, and it even felt like they smiled.</p><p>"I'm just thinking," she said, reaching over to take her hand. Tifa blushed a bit - she's tough but she's not good at this sort of thing, clearly - and she feels the happiness radiating from the spirits. They're glad they met Tifa, they whisper. Even if everything else was wrong, they're glad she was there with them. </p><p>Aerith was glad too. Tifa was kind and happy and she seemed to <i>understand</i> her, in a way that even Cloud struggled with. She liked Cloud, personally, while her past selves seemed torn between affection and fear. But Tifa... it was so nice to be able to talk to someone she knew would understand. </p><p>"Okay. I understand. I won't... I don't want to pry." Tifa smiles, a bit awkwardly. "But I'm here if you want to talk to me." </p><p>"Maybe someday," she says, because maybe Tifa would be able to believe her, then. She hoped so. It would be so nice to finally be able to talk to someone else about this. </p><p>Tifa nodded, still blushing a bit. "Okay. I'll be around. C'mon - Cloud's scouting ahead and he's not back yet, so he's probably found something.</p><p>Aerith nodded, smiling. "He gets impatient, huh?" </p><p>"He always has been." Tifa's smile wavered a bit, but then held steady. A few of Aerith's past spirits sighed sympathetically.</p><p>"Well, let's not keep him waiting." She held on to Tifa's hand as she moved ahead. It made the running ahead easier, knowing there was someone beside her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Prompt: Character Restored From Save File Remembers All Past Deaths (And The Trauma Thereof)<br/>It changed a bit to "character is reminded of all past deaths" in the writing of it. I hope it still works for you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>